As sad as it may sound, I have been suffering in silence for most of my life. I have been suffering and blaming everything around me for the pain. Never enough time. Never enough sleep. Never enough money. That was until today.
Today I realised something profound; I am the author om my life. I am the reason for my pain. My own disinterested stroll through life’s valleys is the reason for all of my missed opportunities. I m to blame – and only I can change that. I like blaming my past for my struggles – it’s convenient, easy, inaccurate. Blaming yesterday for a problem I’m facing today is only productive, or relevant, if I plan to change today.
Today is different. Today is not yesterday. I can not go back and change things I’ve said or done. I can not go back and right past wrongs.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve come to this conclusion. This isn’t the first time that I sit here, typing away about how my life is going to change. This isn’t the first time, but it needs to be the last. I won’t survive another downfall. I won’t survive another disappointment. Today is different, because today is the day that all this changes.
I will put my focus on going forward, not looking back. I need to.
I think that I have finally reached a point where I don’t have much of a choice. This is it. Today, I start rebuilding my life or it will all come crashing down tomorrow. This is my moment. This is my biggest opportunity and this is the first time that I absolutely will not let go. Today – when I feel defeated, I know that it is only because I haven’t figured it all out yet – and thats ok. What is not ok is acknowledging that defeat and doing nothing about it.
I am a human being. I am not perfect. I can only be as great as I know I can be and that is where my power lies.